Communication is a very crucial part of our daily life, especially when it involves money and relationships.  According to Dictionary.com, it is the act or process of communicating; means of sending messages.  When we communicate, we are giving or interchanging thoughts, feelings, information, or the like, by writing, speaking, etc.  Improper communication however can become a pitfall for us.

5 Parts of Communicating

There are five parts to communicating – what is said, what I thought I said, what I thought I expressed, what you thought you heard, and what you thought I expressed.  So let’s break this down and become better communicators.

1. What is Said

This is the facts of the conversation or communication.  If you were to record the conversation, this is what the recorder would play back for both us.

2.  What I Thought I Said

This is what I would repeat back to you if you asked me to repeat the conversation to you.  It is often pretty close to what was said but can vary.  It can include an extra thought or two that was not communicated but crucial.  It can also leave out some pieces.

3.  What I Thought I Expressed

This is the big picture and often the emotions part.  I may have thought I expressed excitement or maybe caution.  This is a crucial area to be clear in.  I need to not only use my tone of voice, but I also need to use the words and body language that fits the expression and emotions I’m trying to express.

4.  What You Though You Heard

This is what you believed I said to you.  If you were asked to repeat the conversation, this is what you would say.  It too is often pretty close to what was said but can vary.

5.  What You Thought I Expressed

This is a key area of whether the communication was successful or not.  Many times this is where the communication begins to fall apart.  You may have felt I was okay with an idea when I thought I expressed concern.  Or you may have thought I was a bit hesitant when in reality I was getting my thoughts together at the very exciting idea you just presented.

So what is the secret to clear communication?  It is making sure that all five pieces match!  It is being sure that you are both on the same page.

So how do you accomplish that?  Begin by making sure that you think about your style of communication and doing your best to make one, two, and three match.  Then ask the other person you are in conversation with to communicate back to you and confirm what you expressed to them. Ask them questions to confirm that four and five match one, two, and three.

Communication is not only important for your success in your marriage, work, and daily life, but it is especially key for finances.  Dishonesty real or perceived here can become a huge stumbling block in your marriage and relationship, so being sure to clearly communicate in the first conversation on a subject is very important.  So slow down and take the time to communicate clearly!